Declaration of Independance...

An open letter to the 20lbs that are blocking me from my 2nd weight loss goal...

Dear 20lbs,

I believe we may be having a communication disconnect. I have, unsuccessfully been trying to let you know for the past two months that I want to end our relationship. It is becoming apparent to me that you either, have not gotten the hint, or do not understand what my intent is.

So I decided to sit right down a write you a letter spelling out my intent.

I don't want to be with you any more, well let me put that a different way, I don't want you to be with me any more. I have tried to let you know this over the past two months. All the vegetables I have eaten, the beer I have not drank, the fried foods I have not eaten all of theses were to be indications of my ending our relationship.

Remember all of the walks we have taken with the dogs, you were only brought along so that you could find someplace else to live. I have not been drinking that much water because I like the view at the urinal. Remember cream in our coffee, yea, I used to like that, but I thought that if I got rid of that you might get the hint!

I urge you, plead, no beg, leave me. Go find another man, woman, hell go find a ground hog for all I care. Just leave damm you!

I am sure you can find a new, willing home.

During my week, I see hundreds of people, based on their eating habits that seem more then willing to allow you in. If they will not allow you to lodge with them in whole, I am sure you can part your self out and find a happy residence someplace.

I expect that by the next time I step on the scale to find that you have started to move your things out.

If at the next time I step on the scale, I find that you have not started to move out, I will be forced to take drastic measures.

Don't make me JOG!

Regards,
Jason

Also in agreement,
Jason's stomic, back, sides, legs, heart, liver, kidneys, colon, arms, neck, cheeks (both sets), ankels and feet.

PS. I have conducted a poll with all other body parts that are not listed on this declaration in the above signed section, while they have withheld their signature for their own reasons, they are not, and will not be willing to open their body positions for your permanent or temporary lodging.