A Case for Pie...

Simply stated...

I love pie. I love pie so much I have cat named Magpie...

I have never meet a pie, that I did not like, keylime, apple, peach, mincemeat, shoefly = Yum!

I get absolutely whimsical over bing cherry. Ask my wife, she has had to pry me from the pie case on more then one occasion.

They say all men dream of sex, I dream of pie.

Pumpkin is a religion, the church of pumpkin. Its almost the hole reason to have thanksgiving dinner.

And blueberry, droll worthy, I would hold Dr. Who hostage at gun point for the chance of a piece of my Nan's fresh Blueberry pie with crumb top crust.

I own a pie fork, a pie server, a pie pan, and a pie bird. I even have a plate and a bowl that I only eat pie from!

The thing is, it needs to be good pie, and to be a good pie, it needs to be home made, all of it.

The crust needs to be thin, flaky, a perfect marriage of water, flour and butter. The filling, HOMEMADE, if your pie comes from a can, and its anything other pumpkin, go back and try again.

When eating dinner out, I will check out the desert tray FIRST. If the Pie sucks, lets go somewhere else.

I have eaten bad steaks, and sent canned filling pies back to the kitchen.

I, maybe more then most appreciate the role of the pastry chef. I once attempted to use my grocery budget to win a pie of the month club from a 4H auction.

But there is a problem, I don't get to eat much pie any more.

When I was young, there seemed to always be pie. Pie every week, during the summer when people still went out he picked berries, ohh the berries pies of my child hood. There was even pie for breakfast! But what happened to them, where did they go, and when did it happen?

I got older....

My family, and rightfully so, were concerned with my weight, so the pie supply was limited, cut off, gone, good by. I appreciate my family's intervention causing my weight loss, but I will be the first to tell you that I miss pie.

So with the effort in putting pie back on my fork, in correctly monitored quantity, I present...

A Case for Pie...

Wikipedia Defines Pie as: A pie is a baked dish which is usually made of a pastry dough casing that covers or completely contains a filling of various sweet or savory ingredients.

But pie is so much more then the sum of its parts. Some say that Cake is the end all be all desert offering, proof on concept. They serve cake at weddings. (not all, and not mine)

So lets look at Pie vs Cake...

Frosting distribution is an issue...

When you eat cake, you either want the frosting rose, or you don't eat cake. With Pie, everyone gets the same amount of sweet, tasty love.

Enjoyment over time...

When I eat cake, there is the initial HUM, cake, but then that its, its over. With Pie it is a long and delicious process. Cake is like sitting at a campground with friends, Pie is like sitting on the beach on a tropical island.

Pie has a greater mass of love...

Pie - Excellent crust filling with yummy sweet goodness center.
Cake - A delivery vehicle for frosting, and what is the fluffy part in the center?

To much..

When you eat to much Cake you feel bad, when you eat to much Pie you feel happy.

Now lets look at the science...

With all things equal

Cake - 370 Cals, 19.6g Fat, 50.3g Carbs.
Pie - 280 Cals, 15g Fat, 40g Carbs
Ice Cream - 260 Cals, 14 Fat, 32 Carbs

While ice cream comes in as the most healthy when it comes to desert, and I love ice cream (especially on pie) Pie is truly the most appropriate choice for making this man happy when it comes to the sweet desert.

So please, I beg of you, to all the powers that be in the world, more so than any other many has ever beged for a food item before. I plead, I beg, I grovel, let them eat cake, but I'll take PIE.

A letter to pie...

Dear Pie,

Please find your way back into my life, I know we have not talked for a long time and with the hole eathing heatly, and losing weight we may have split up on bad terms. I know I may have done you wrong with the sugar sub-statue, and shuning real butter dieting. But I still need you, my fork has not been the same with out you. Just the other day the ice cream skoop asked where you have been. The dog has been asking about you to. I have the pie pan clean, the mixer ready, and my pie fork (Yes, I have a pie fork) polished for your return. Come back to me, we can start slow, maybe with a tart. But I know, if we can find a way to settle our differences we can find a way for you to be back on my plate, on my fork and in my tummy where you belong.

You long lost friend and Pie connoisseur.

~Jason