If....

If your fat and you know it get a pinch flat,
If your fat and you know it get a pinch flat,
If you fat and you know,
Then you bike will shorly show it,
If you fat and you know it get a pinch flat.

I didn't have a pinch flat today, but it was the song I was humming all the way to work, Over all it was a good ride, little wet in spots, but a good morning for it all in all.

Numbers on the day:
Trip: 4.8
Time: 23.52
Avg: 12.3
Max: 109.4 (Computer had a stroke while taking it off the bike, I think it was about 22.8)

Aside from the typical 'Hey I'm here safe and sound" post, I would like to also bring up two other items central to commuting and full figure folks

1)Bike Component Munity
I think my bottom bracket is starting to hate me, now I'm not sure if it was hagging out with the rear spokes or what but there is some funky noise coming from down there. Last evening Dave H. and I tried to pull the crank arms off the bike to see if maybe it was loose. After taking the mounting bolts out we could look at the end of the spindle and see that it has been rounded over due to peddle force. I can't wait to take this one into the LBS and see the look on their face.

2) Baby Wipes
Several people at work have now asked me, for fear of the olfactory system I believe, how do I get cleaned up after my ride in. And the standard answer is baby wipes. While that answer does drive the point home, it really does not give light as to what the real process is. Being that this was one of the things I was wondering about before I started commuting, allow me to shed some light on the subject.

A typical morning in the life of me:
Human Dream- "Getting picture taken at weight station with record Drum, Sail Fish ,Trout, Striper, Tuna, Marlin or Tarpon"
5:30a.m. - Alarm goes off!
Cat 1 Dream - "Is all this soft kibble for me?, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU!!!"
5:31:04a.m. - Cat 1 uses its extrasensory perception and wakes up before the alarm clock leaves my hand
5:31:05a.m. - Alarm flys across bedroom and disturbs cat 1 sleeping on ironing board
5:31:06a.m. - Cat 1, using a move that would make the director of the Matrix envious, jumps from the ironing board in an effort to avoid the wailing missle flying towards its head, causing the ironing board to tip, causing the iron to fall, which lands next to cat 2 sleeping peacefully at the foot of the bed.
5:31:07a.m. - I'm getting the slightest twinge of regret at this point over throwing alarm clock
Cat 2 Dream - "I wonder if he is going to give me any of that fish he getting his picture with?"
5:31:08a.m. - Cat 2 launches it's self through the air, landing on my left thigh, demonstrating that not only can she move grate distances Immediately after waking up (Something I can not do) but that she can also extend her claws at least 3 inches further than proven physically possible by feline science.
5:31:09a.m. - Wide awake with a full on case of guilt over throwing alarm clock, wondering if I am going to need stitches
5:35a.m. - Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
5:39a.m. - Cat 1 and Cat 2 are feed, watered and purring nicely, press "Go" on coffee pot, wonder why coffee pots don't have a "NOW" button
5:41a.m. - Off to the basement for a nicely washed shami and bike clothes, and to grab replacement work clothes
5:44a.m. - Place pan on stove, burner to HIGH, 1 slice of bacon in microwave, 2 min on high, and toast in the toaster, down lever.
5:46a.m. - Try to figure out why the coffee is not done yet!!!!!!
5:48a.m. - Break, scramble, season and cook egg, fat dab bacon, catch toast. Eat breakfast!
5:55a.m. - BEP, BEP, BEP, BEP, BEP, BEP
5:56a.m. - ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, coffee
Cat 3 Dream - " I have the hole house to play in, YIPPPPYYYYYY!!!!!!!"
6:00a.m. - Dawn my chain mail gloves and get Cat 3 out of the bathroom (8 week kitten)
6:01-6:10a.m. - Play with cat 3 while drinking last of coffee cup 1, catch a bit of morning news
6:11a.m. - Place Cat 3 back in his jail, feed, watered and purring nicely
6:12a.m. - Stuff replacement clothes into panniers, place all bags by front door
Fiance Dream: "Getting picture taken at weight station with BIGGER record Drum, Sail Fish ,Trout, Striper, Tuna, Marlin or Tarpon"
6:13a.m. - Kiss fiance good by, wish her a good day and remember all the reasons I'm marrying her
6:14a.m. - Grab my bags, scratch Cat 1, and 2 on the head, grab keys and head out the door
6:15a.m. - Start blazer, back out, reach for travel mug of coffee........ 'Oh for F^%)S sake"
6:16a.m. - Go back inside and grab coffee cup
6:30a.m. - Arrive at Dave H. house
6:32a.m. - Unload bike from rack, panniers loaded, laptop case, helmet, and gloves go inside for cup of Hazzlenut coffee.
6:33-6:55a.m. - Carpet Bagging, Drinking coffee, try to figure out what is exactly wrong with his dog
6:56a.m. - Pen up Dave H's Dog, QWERTY. and pack up
7:00a.m. - Have Dave H. turn me on (MP3 player that is)
7:01a.m. - Roll out, tell Dave H. to have a good day, and that I'll see him tonight
7:02-7:25a.m. - It's all downhill, breath
7:26-7:35a.m. - Arvie at work, lock up bike, take anything that could walk away off the bike and head for the front door
7:35-7:36a.m. - Enplane to the replacement security guard why I do not have ID (no pockets), that I'm not the notorious spandex terrorist, and that I didn't ride my bike to the building so I could create some terror and then have a speedy getaway.
7:38a.m. - By the grace of the elevator gods, arrive at desk, unpack, hook up laptop, fire up desk top. Check both email accounts and check schedule for classes, meetings, conferences, seminars or any other items that generally tend to keep productivity low
7:39a.m. - With work clothes and toiletries in tow, off to the mens room, and my "Carry On Luggage" size bathroom stall for my Supper Man impersonation
7:55a.m. - "It's a bird, It's a plane, its Office Man" Bust out of the stall, clean, good smelling and work ready, fill the water bottled and back to my desk.
7:56a.m. - Follow my nose to a running coffee machine for a fill and dash, ahhhhh, next to last cup of the day.